Realizations Of A Troubled Heart

When we love truly, we put ourselves aside. We make sure that we give our best to the ones we care for. Sometimes, it doesn’t even matter anymore if what we would do would hurt as, as long as we don’t hurt them.

I remember a conversation I had with my brother when he said he had to let go of that one person he cared for the most. I was young, but I somehow had an idea of what he felt and I told him:

“It takes great love to hold on but even greater love to let go.”

Indeed, only the strong can let go, only the brave can face loneliness.

However, just recently, it’s as if God has whispered to me. All this time, I was focusing solely to my pain, to my sacrifice. I thought it was enough that I lifted everything to Him.

I forgot that God also made a sacrifice. He sacrificed that I be hurt so He can make sure that I end up with someone whom He has prepared for me. My Father, sacrificed seeing His child cry in pain because He knew that now is not yet the right time to settle down.

Like me, God did what is right even if it was hard, because He loved me so much, and He only wanted what’s best for me.

So if you’re reading this and you feel like you’re brokenhearted, know that you are not alone in the pain, and believe God lets good things/people go to make way for greater ones. More importantly, trust me when I say that God only lets us feel weak so we may find strength in Him.

Stay strong and pray!

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The Beauty in Uncertainties

I was at work when I read the Facebook status of my classmate way back in high school. He shared how the lives of his friends have changed, how some are already married with kids, some have gone abroad, while most are now living a glamorous life. He, on the other hand, is still going on a crisis of being financially unstable and of having no friends in his new environment, he said.

Days before today weren’t my happiest days. Truth is, I share a mutual feeling with my classmate. Sometimes when I look around, I feel like I got left out. Others are now on the peak of their careers and they seem to have figured life out. I am also on a crisis now: figuring what I want, where I want to be, who I want to be. I can say my life has changed for the better somehow, but I know this isn’t what I am looking for, this isn’t the kind of life that will satisfy my soul.

Every now and then, I ask God what His plans are for me because I seem so lost. But I live by faith that He is in control, His timing is perfect and that His plans are better than mine. My only prayer now is that He will use my life to touch the hearts of others and I hope that I can be a disciple to the people I encounter with everyday.

Before finishing my shift, I spared a few minutes reading one of my favorite blogs: David Bonifacio’s. His write-up on “The beauty of a broken heart”  inspired me to make this blog. I also keep a notebook which holds the events of my life, both painful and happy. Most of my entries these days are unfortunately sad and bitter. I described how the pain felt, how it crushed my heart, how it is taking a hold of me. But I never got the perspective of writing to be able to show others how God has worked in my life and how God will heal my wounds. So here I am staring a new blog, hoping I could share even just a glimpse of how great our God is.

I do not know what the future holds, where I’d be a few years from now. But one thing that I’m certain about is that for better or for worse, God will be with me, He will help me every step of the way. And because I am blindfolded with the things which are about to happen, I will be able to appreciate the surprises that God will give me.

I lift everything to Him for He knows best. He is my Father, I am a child of God.

I’ll end this entry with a part of a song that my church made which I love oh so dearly. Hear goes…

“I let go of my life and take a hold of You. I let go of myself so I may follow You. Lord make use of this life for it belongs to You. May my life be a worship unto You…”

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